When my husband and I sat down to fill out the application to adopt we ended up fighting. Why? There really wasn’t a reason. The true issue at hand was we hadn’t taken the time to grieve our invisible loss. The act of filling out that form broke open the wounds we carried, but could not see. It brought us to the raw reality that the child we had envisioned to look like us, act like us and carry our genes would not be. We experienced the death of a dream.
People on the outside don’t recognize the loss. It’s unseen, but real. The pain tells you so. Don’t be caught in the trap of denying its existence. Take time to set your dream free. I suggest buying an object like a toy boat or a helium balloon. Write a farewell to your dream, attach it to the object and let the wind, river or ocean have it. Watch it leave you. Then write yourself a new dream that includes an adopted child or two. Set your course toward it, and anticipate the joys that await you.
A Diamond in the Rough,